Casualty of War
by Salty Q
Summary: An account of the first casualty of Sam's war, but with a twist. It is Jessica's death from her own perspective. Her pain wrapped neatly into a one shot story. Jess has always been an amazing character, despite the fact that she was only in the Pilot.


**Author's Note** This is simply an account of what Jessica may have felt and thought in her final moments. I don't own Supernatural or our boys and I adore any and all reviews!

**Casualty of War**

Jess felt her body slam against the bedroom wall and take on an unnatural movement, though she wasn't sure what it meant. She flinched, blinked, and realized she was sliding upwards—against the wall. The idea was ludicrous—so much so that she felt an odd and undeniable urge to laugh, though no sound escaped from her lips.

Her body felt as if it wasn't her own anymore. It was being controlled by some other force—some outside influence—and her heart raced with anticipation and anxiety. She knew not what would come, but she feared it with all of her heart.

As she tried to rationalize the occurrence of something so _ir_rational, Jessica's mind flashed to the one thing she loved the most: Sam. Although her love for him was deep and impenetrable, she had always had a feeling of another side—a dangerous side—even though he emitted nothing but brilliance and innocence towards her. She had known there was a secret—maybe even a big one—but it'd never seemed important enough to jeopardize their relationship over.

Jessica's neck bent and her head suddenly jerked forward as she reached the ceiling. Her body followed the bend of the wall awkwardly. She found herself wondering if she were in the midst of a fantastical dream. Surely this wasn't really happening. She almost scoffed as she realized that it was absurd for her to think otherwise and invited the strange sense of vertigo as her body came to a halt exactly above the bed.

She hung for a moment, unsure of what to expect in this dream that was so undeniably incredible and strange. She mused about talking to Sam about it in the morning. He would laugh in the hearty way that she loved and declare that she was _just_ silly enough for him to keep her around. After which she would tease him and pretend that if she was only around for the amusement of a "registered" genius, she'd see herself out the door and find a proper lowlife. Eventually Sam would melt and play into her hands, telling her everything she wanted to hear. Jess's face found a strange smile, half sincere, half dreadful.

Suddenly Sam appeared out of the kitchen. He walked into the room and plopped onto the bed, obviously exhausted. Jess cocked her head to the side, again amused by his participation in her bizarre dream—she hadn't expected that. He even had one of the cookies she'd left for him. He chomped away appreciatively, which made her smile, as he lay with his eyes closed. This was the strangest part of it all—Sam lying underneath her, innocent and. . . . so far down. Jessica's mind bemused at the proximity and awkwardness of her situation as it was something she'd never dreamt of or felt.

A blinding pain filled Jessica's eyes with tears and her mind with panic. Her insides were suddenly on fire and she longed to reach towards her stomach where the flame seemed to have originated. Her arms, as well as every other muscle in her body, were unresponsive. She moved her mouth, fruitlessly trying to produce sound, but only felt more unbearable pain from her midsection.

She sensed her consciousness beginning to fade into oblivion and tried to cry out. It was not a dream or a trick. It was happening to her and she could do nothing to stop it. She glanced at her arms, helplessly pinned to the wall and again tried to cry out in pain. Her voice seemed inoperable, as if it were locked somewhere within her as she struggled to warn Sam.

Jessica watched in horror as her blood finally soaked through her nightgown and began dripping onto the bed. A distant part of her mind wanted to yell again—to tell Sam to move as to not be tainted by her blood, although she was unsure of the origination of this thought. Two drops fell to the left his chest before one came into contact with his forehead.

Sam shook his head slightly, annoyed by the strange feeling, then opened his eyes to complete terror. Jessica's face was frozen in a gaze of utter shock. She no longer had control of her face, as well as her arms and legs. She could still see Sam, but was unable to respond or act in any way.

The bed was jostled as Sam frantically scrambled backwards and hollered, "NO! NO!"

Jessica's vision was fading as her body cried for release, begging her to succomb to the agony. But she couldn't leave Sam. He needed her. Without her, he would become—but her mind could not go there as the thought seemed as if it had originated outside of herself. It was as is if this thought was her final torture, though she was at an utter loss as to what it might mean.

Suddenly a new sensation flooded every other thought from her mind. _FIRE_. Fire was coming from every direction, spinning her mind into a frenzied state of panic. She fought with all of the will power within her as she tried to free herself from the ceiling, although part of her mind was still insisting that it was all unbelievably ridiculous and part of some implausible nightmare.

Helpless and resolved, Jess turned her eyes back down to Sam. He was still stunned as he shoved himself against the headboard, unsure of how to react. Suddenly the door flew open, obviously kicked in, and Dean, Sam's older brother—at least she thought that was the name the "Smurf lover" had been introduced as—barged into the room. Unsure of why, Jess's heart leapt with hope as Dean entered the room, knowing for some inadvertent reason that Dean would get Sam to safety and keep him from harm.

If she'd been able to, Jess would have smiled. She would have displayed the sort of face a loved one should see before death, but her features were not under her control. Instead, she was left to stare lifelessly down as Dean wrenched Sam from the bed and towards the door.

The _pain_—pain she'd never thought possible for a human being—engulfed every inch of her body as Jess tried to refocus on Sam. She rationalized within her pain ridden, detached mind, that it had been worth it. She didn't know why, but something within her body felt that this had been a result of something she'd never known of. She was a casualty of something that meant much more than herself and she could accept that—she didn't _like_ it—but she could accept it.

Jessica's life force was fading as she watched the older Winchester brother manhandle Sam out of the room. God, how he _screamed_! He wasn't yelling or hollering; he was outright _screaming_ in a voice she'd never heard him use before and it tugged mercilessly at her failing heart. The pain within her own body was beginning to fade, which could only mean one thing. She was dying.

She tried to project her love forward--or rather _downward_--and make him understand that she could never blame him for such a bizarre death, but she could feel that nothing about her appearance changed. Her face, limbs and body were frozen—trapped in a hell box filled with fire and blood. In her last moments, Jessica heard and saw Sam being pulled from the room by Dean and was distractedly thankful for the mysterious older brother. Whatever else he had been, he had ultimately saved Sam's life. To Jess, that made him a hero, for Sam was all that mattered to her now—all that had ever mattered.

Another wave of physically painful flames distracted her from her emotional pain as she tried to close her eyes. She was disappointed and morbidly amused that she could not succeed, as her eyelids were gone. Her entire body convulsed in seizures in a final act as her mind flew through her regrettably short life. Her heart surged with emotion as her body gave up.

_Sam, I don't regret anything when it comes to you. I'd tell you not to blame yourself, but it would be lost within you're complicated, mysterious mind. I love you—so much—and would have followed you anywhere._

And then she felt it. Her heart broke. It wasn't what she expected. It was almost audible, the sound of her soul being torn in half because of the love she was losing. Her mind longed for insanity, her body for numbness, but every torturing feeling was more defined to her than anything she'd ever felt before.

Jessica's life ended in another wave of flames and fury as her body finally released her soul to the powers that be. Her eyes glazed, her head lolled, and she knew no more.

**Author's Note** Thanks so much for reading! As always feel free to review! Don't be shy--I'd love to hear what you think! All comments, suggestions and opinions are appreciated! Thanks again!  
- Salty Q


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